What does the word “NO” mean to you?  What power does this word have OVER you?  What emotional reactions do you feel when you hear it?  How do you respond when you hear “NO”?  Why am I asking all these questions about such a small, common word?

This last weekend, my good friend Capt. Pete was running his Captain’s Guide to Wholesaling event and he added (I think it was new…) a new section about the getting the response of “No” in calling back whole sale leads.  Pete talked about the fact that for every “No” response you hear, you are one step closer to a real deal and profits.  He went on to explain that as his students, he wanted each and ever person present to re-train themselves away from the negative feelings they have to the response and transform it as a positive step forward.  This reminded me of my days of sales training.

In sales, I taught that in an average sale you will get five “NO’s” before you get a “Yes” (or sale).  This concept comes very easy to some, while incredibly difficult to others.  What I learned is that the salespeople who had little issues with hearing “no” were those personalities who had “thick skin”, yet they often had difficulty building long term rapport with customers. The salespeople who always seemed to take the “no” personally generally were my best rapport builders, strong in building long term relationships.  While there were exceptions to this rule, myself included, we were a rarity.  As a trainer, manager, and department head the challenge I had was utilizing my staff to their best ability, but what do YOU do if you’re a one person business?

The first thing you need to do is a bit of self-analysis.  Are you a “thick skinned” person who could care less if someone says “no” just moving on to the next deal, sale, or question.  Or do you find that you take it a bit personal, finding that when a client or lead tells you “NO!” you retract within yourself feeling less than you were before?

(Clearly each of us reacts differently to “No” depending on circumstance, environment, and who it’s coming from.  In this discussion we are specifically talking in a sales or deal offering.)

Now understand, that I could easily start going on about the power of “NO” in concerns to negotiation, and I will at some point (Pete and I are actually working on a Negotiation Workshop as I write this!  So stay tuned!).  Instead I want to continue to focus on the emotional ties/power that “No” has.

Ok, so you have identified your personality so now what do you do?  If you are a “thick skinned” person, well congratulations we will talk about building rapport at some time in the future.  If you are the latter and have a difficult time dealing with the stigma of “No”, then please read on. (All you “thick skinned” folks should feel more than welcome to join us, it may help you understand the other side :) )

“NO” is a bad word, right?  No, it’s really not. (Get the joke there?)  The failing is not on you, it’s more on the emotions one might attach to hearing rejection.  This ultimately stems back to some life experience, which I won’t even begin to go into.  Instead, the focus of the rejection just needs to be brought back around to a positive.  As Capt. Pete said, “Each “NO” you hear brings you one step closer to a deal, so celebrate each “NO”!”  Pete is spot on here.  If we retrain ourselves to that “No” is actually a positive event, we begin to (ever so slowly) gain the positive emotional charge when we hear it.  Is this tough?  Sure it is, yet I believe that most things in life that are worth acquiring require a bit of effort.

If you take “no” to be a positive experience what happens?  The emotional baggage begins to get left on the plane.  You become free to ask any question, you gain self confidence, and you become POWERFUL and UNSTOPPABLE.  Just by changing your view of one small two letter word will change your life.

At the end of the day, many of my clients and associates have so much fear of hearing a “No” to their offer, they simply don’t bother.  They build up so much worry that they will hear it, the take the easy road to avoid it…they simply don’t bother asking.  Is this healthy?  Not in my opinion it isn’t.  Avoidance leads to other worries, worries leads to inactivity, inactivity leads to…well it’s not success.  All because of one simple, two letter word.

Don’t let one simple word trap you from the SUCCESS that you deserve.  So today, change your view of that word and make it a celebration the next time you hear “NO” in response to your question.  Then ask the same question in a different way and see if you get the same response.  You might be surprised.

Filed under: General

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!